So, last fall my pastor had asked me to write a Blog about why I'm ok with my roles as a wife and mother. I was intimidated then and am now about doing this. Maybe that's why its taken so long for me to do it. I fist want to say my husbands and I's situation is completely different from anyone else's. We make life work for us so I wouldn't expect anyone to do the same or think the same as us. I do hope however, that it would help give perspective to some stay at home moms out there who have a hard time with the lot they chose in life. I say chose because life doesn't happen to us unless we let it. The way are life is at this moment is because of decisions we made in the past.
The fist decision I made that embarked me in to my current roles was to get married. I am a wife first and foremost. I never had to make a staement or commitment to my children, "to have and to hold", or "in sickenss and in health". I am going to live the rest of my life with Aaron Baker! Before we got married Aaron and I had many conversations, and took pre-marriage counseling and thought we knew what marriage should look and feel like. Well, Its not as easy as I think every one hopes it would be. W have had our fights, disagreements but am glad to say we have almost made it to our 8 year milestone!
My husband works two jobs, one as an instructor to fix and maintain Bravo helicopters for the US Navy and one as a worship leader for our church. I don't work outside the house. I do distribute JUICE PLUS, which I love and I also co lead the worship team with Aaron. My full time job is to maintain the house and bring my kids to school and other various activities. Now, to expect my husband to come home after working two jobs and have to make dinner or clean the dishes, do laundry etc... would be absolutely ludicrous! I would be considered the laziest house wife, being able to make my own schedule and stay at home all day, if I expected that much from my husband. I wouldn't deserve him.
You may disagree with me and that's fine. I think that all married couples have their own processes, and ways to live life. If we were both working, Aaron and I agreed we would share the house hold load.You need to work out what works for you as a couple not as an individual. Because, as soon as you said I do your life was not your own anymore and their shouldn't be any backing out. Too many people jump head fist into marriage and back out too fast due to selfish intentions. There will always be ireconsiliable differences no matter who you are with.
Maybe next time my Blog will be a little lighter. :) I might post about a movie I've seen or a magazine article I just read.
Thanks for taking your time to read. My Blog is a tool for me to become a better communicator so please comment and let me know your thoughts. Thanks, Rachael
First of all I think any housewife who disagrees with you is crazy but that's just my opinion and it happens to be in agreement with yours :) I have walked many many years in your shoes and this is the reason I am commenting here now. any woman who says being a stay at home Mom is not a job should have to do it for awhile and I mean longer than 6 weeks with a beautiful newborn. I made the choice when I was still a child myself to stay home until all my children were in school, at which point I would be able to expand my interests. I never knew those years would be so exhausting, so boring at times, busy at others, pull your hair out maddening and yet so rewarding. I remember missing adult conversation the most and while all my friends made fun of me and called me Peg (married with children reference) and thought I had it so easy and life was a party they could never see the other side. They didn't see the husband who came home exhausted and wanted to be left alone the rest of the night because HE worked, the money arguments because I didn't earn it, or the late nights up with sick babies by myself getting puked on and thinking my ears might actually bleed from the crying because he had to be up early, or hearing the phrase but it's my day off and being so jealous that I didn't get those because I didn't punch a clock!!! But they also don't get to reap the rewards of my sacrifice either! I got to watch my babies grow and teach them and know they weren't getting beat or molested in a daycare setting. I got to play barbies and ride bikes and on good days have picnics in the park, I got more cuddle time, more hugs more kisses and tender moments. And I got to give them memories that will last a lifetime for them as well. In those few moments of quiet each day I studied whatever I could get my hands on and I felt confident that I would do well in the working world. It isn't without it's good sides but part of me will always miss those times when my babies were still little and at home! I hope this will encourage you on days when things seem overwhelming and I hope you know I am always here if you need a friend!
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