Affirmation: Can we have self confidence without it?

I'm sitting at the desk, with this blogger open, hoping to get inspiration on what to write. I'm not a naturally gifted writer and have never professed to be. I can't imagine how those who do feel when they get writers block.
I have for awhile now been wanting to write something about affirmation. What it is, how it defines peoples lives, etc... I haven't done enough studying or research on it to be an expert, but I'll just write a bit about it now for future reference.
Some of the definitions of affirmation I found were:

to state or assert positively; maintain as true
to confirm
to express agreement with.
approve
endorse

What does affirmation mean to me:

Putting your seal of approval on someone or something
Upholding a decision with out backing out
To make someone feel better about them self and give them confidence in their talents or decisions


I am a singer. I love to sing! I have had professional training now and then and have even taken college courses to improve this skill. There have been times where I have felt very unaffirmed in this talent. I had someone sit me down in their dining room once, this person was a worship leader at my church, and tell me that my voice wasn't even that good. I did not feel affirmed, or confident in my talent after that. I went to college, majoring in music,  downtrodden, timid, not confident in my abilities after that. It wasn't until I had a professor tell me I was a good singer that I felt better about it again. After that I became more confident, unashamed of my voice.
I think there is something to be said about affirmation.
Definition of confidence:

full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing

I think my lack of confidence sometimes comes from a lack of affirmation from those who ive let speak into my life because I have trusted them. I remember wanting something so bad, I had been to school for it, proved my loyalty by serving in whatever capacity necessary and I had the desire and drive, but I was told I wasn't as qualified as they wanted and were going to outsource the position. Mind you, I was even willing to not get paid and just volunteer. I felt deflated. Why do I even bother? After awhile I became very jaded, and I guess I still am. The decision made also had to do with how well I communicated or how I came off to people. This has seriously been the bane of my existence, honesty, excellence, standards.
When I was given the chance, finally,  I was always reminded, your not as skilled, talented, able. What a way to boost my moral! I'm not denying that their haven't been times where I have been affirmed, but I think sometimes the negatives out way the positives, especially when its coming from someone your suppose to trust. 
I remember watching a video of a speaker who said, "I wouldn't be here if, so and so, hadn't put this mic in my hand , trusted me to make mistakes but learn from them and do better the next time." His position wasn't extracted because he might have been a little too harsh one time, or wasn't very personable at others. He was affirmed, I think he even used that word in his talk, time and time again despite his mistakes. He is a confident and successful person today because of that.
God uses us to be his hands, feet, mouth. If we are expecting to accomplish everything on our own, without the help of others with their frailties and all, then we won't get very far. 
More to come...

Philippians 2:12-18 NLT

"Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless. But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy. Yes, you should rejoice, and I will share your joy."

Sheesh Paul, put those fiery coals on our heads why don't you? Do any of you feel convicted? Out of all the days this had to to be my devotion it had to be today huh? Especially the highlighted part. I was asked recently if anything in my life currently gives me joy. To be honest I had to say no. "What", you say, "your a christian and you don't have any joy". My answer is yes. I hate to admit it really. I have a loving husband and two beautiful children. I have a warm home and food to eat. I have clothes to wear, even though i wish I had more. :) 

So whats my problem. I was challenged to find joy, even in the most minute, monotonous things. I made a fabulous meal the other day. It could have been a disaster but it wasn't, JOY. I was able to have a greek lunch the other day, it was a treat to myself, JOY! I got my chucks in the mail today, JOY! 

"But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God!"This has really been my anthem since i got married and had children but at times its become more of a burden then a joy. But, I will try my darnedest to bring a sacrifice of praise rather than a sullen word of complaint. Hopefully I have the resolve to keep this commitment. 

Not my will but Yours Lord, All things are Possible through God who gives me strength! 

Live Wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. Colossians 4:6

I had a conversation the other day with a man who's daughter goes to the same preschool as my daughter. He felt that the technology of today makes people too exposed. Everyone knows everything about you and everyone's business. I agree that it can be a bit overwhelming especially with those teenagers and sometimes adults that don't have any filters. I have of late been commenting less and posting less on Facebook. I might share a picture now and then so our family and distant friends can keep in touch. I don't see the point though, of giving everyone a play by play of my day. Unless I feel it might edify someone I try not to comment. Just so I protect myself from my own hypocrisy later on I'll just say this is a rule for myself and sometimes I break those. :) I don't see the harm of making a joke on someones comment, sharing something exciting you did etc...

Lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each others faults because of your love. Ephesians 4:1-2

I have struggled so much in life with speaking my mind before thinking, being too judgmental, being insensitive to others because I'm task orientated. (I'm sure there's more but id rather not dwell on my deficiencies or my husband may come home to a depressed wife. i always climb out of it though. :) ) This is why I try, with all my might sometimes, to not comment or express my opinion on Facebook, here, Google+ etc... Sometimes I find my self about to comment, I may type in three of four different sentences and then i just cancel it. Why do I have to say anything at all?!
I do appreciate Facebook though. It is such a great tool to keep in touch with people.
I'm a Christian! Do people know it online? I hope so.

Its been awhile...

Sorry its been awhile since Ive posted a Blog. I haven't really been confident in what to write or not. I'm still suprised anybody would even care what I have to say.
I guess I'll just let you know what some of my favorite things are right now. I know its kind of shameless to make plugs on here but I'm going to do it anyway.
1. THE HUNGER GAMES!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hunger_Games
Its such a fun, well written, book series. I know its all the rage right now. Some people, trying to be hip, would stay away from such trends but, I think that would be the wrong decision. You'll be missing out on a good read. The movie is coming out next friday. I will be going day of. Can't wait!
2. Making New Foods!
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/the-best-of/ranchmans-steak-butter-recipe/index.html
I have made a few new recipes the past few weeks. Some of them have been simple syrup, which I use to mak my own lemonade and sweet tea, steak butter, its filled with herbs and spices and makes your steack taste that much better, cottage pie which ive always made shepherbs pie but this recipe is much better. (I think that might be a runon sentence.)
3. Downton Abbey!
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/downtonabbey/
This is one of the best shows on TV right now. Ive cried, laughed, and felt for these characters more than I have on most other shows. I don't know how they make you care. I am looking forward to season 3. Oh my goodness, I think I mat have to wait till January, the horror!
This may seem like a lame Blog but oh well. I hope to be back on here sooner than later. Thanks for reading and remember, this Blog is a tool for me to be a better communicator so please comment below.
Till next time, Rachael

Why are we all so uptight!

I feel a righteous urge to tell people to mind their own business and to avoid condemning others of your own convictions. It feels so good to get it off the chest and yet at the same time I feel like  hypocrite. In the age of Facebook, My Space, Google+, and yes even emails we can be subjected to others opinions and convictions everyday. And, because we subscribe to them we are willing subjects. And yes, I am one of those who does share my beliefs in God, abortion, politics etc... Why, even today I posted a link on Facebook about pro life! And here it is cause why not share it on my BLOG:
http://www.feelnumb.com/?p=7630
UGH! I feel even more like a hypocrite. :)
I guess my righteous indignation is more about benign topics like books I read or movies I watch. I feel like each of us need be careful to what we subject our selves to but, each person has the ability to decide what that is. I have felt it, conviction from God, about watching a particular movie when I shouldn't and, believe me, I have at times the nightmares that I wouldn't have if I would have obeyed it.
Books that I have liked but have been condemned about reading, Harry Potter, Twilight, Dragon Lance, The Lord of the Rings etc... I understand why some would have a conviction about reading these, but I don't. So let me delight in these fantasies because I absolutely enjoy them. I know and feel His conviction on my own and hopefully, when I do feel it, I will heed it.

My roles as a wife and mother and why I'm ok with that.

So, last fall my pastor had asked me to write a Blog about why I'm ok with my roles as a wife and mother. I was intimidated then and am now about doing this. Maybe that's why its taken so long for me to do it. I fist want to say my husbands and I's situation is completely different from anyone else's. We make life work for us so I wouldn't expect anyone to do the same or think the same as us. I do hope however, that it would help give perspective to some stay at home moms out there who have a hard time with the lot they chose in life. I say chose because life doesn't happen to us unless we let it. The way are life is at this moment is because of decisions we made in the past.
The fist decision I made that embarked me in to my current roles was to get married. I am a wife first and foremost. I never had to make a staement or commitment to my children, "to have and to hold", or "in sickenss and in health". I am going to live the rest of my life with Aaron Baker! Before we got married Aaron and I had many conversations, and took pre-marriage counseling and thought we knew what marriage should look and feel like. Well, Its not as easy as I think every one hopes it would be. W have had our fights, disagreements but am glad to say we have almost made it to our 8 year milestone!
My husband works two jobs, one as an instructor to fix and maintain Bravo helicopters for the US Navy and one as a worship leader for our church. I don't work outside the house. I do distribute JUICE PLUS, which I love and I also co lead the worship team with Aaron. My full time job is to maintain the house and bring my kids to school and other various activities. Now, to expect my husband to come home after working two jobs and have to make dinner or clean the dishes, do laundry etc... would be absolutely ludicrous! I would be considered the laziest house wife, being able to make my own schedule and stay at home all day, if I expected that much from my husband. I wouldn't deserve him.
You may disagree with me and that's fine. I think that all married couples have their own processes, and ways to live life. If  we were both working, Aaron and I agreed we would share the house hold load.You need to work out what works for you as a couple not as an individual. Because, as soon as you said I do your life was not your own anymore and their shouldn't be any backing out. Too many people jump head fist into marriage and back out too fast due to selfish intentions. There will always be ireconsiliable differences no matter who you are with.
Maybe next time my Blog will be a little lighter. :) I might post about a movie I've seen or a magazine article I just read.
Thanks for taking your time to read. My Blog is a tool for me to become a better communicator so please comment and let me know your thoughts. Thanks, Rachael

Just finished another book!

Hi guys,
So I have been challenged to learn how to communicate better. So here I go. This is my first ever Blog.
I just finished reading a really good book. Its the latest of a series. I started reading this series maybe three years ago. A friend of mine, @MichelleDunhamMenzell, reccomended it to me. The series is about a Apiscapalian preacher named Tim Kavanagh. He had settled in life. He wasn't thriving. He just wanted to get done with what he needed to do and at the end of the day read a good book and go to sleep. He didnt like suprises and certainly didn't expect much from God. Then one day his world changed because of a dog, a new neighbor and a needy boy. The newest book is called "In The Company of Others". If you like being entertained by a good read then I reccomend this series. They are written by Jan Karon.
Well thats it for now. Thanks for reading.